My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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