Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize