you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
