y did u give ur computer a hand job?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
