I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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