you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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