nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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