Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
The best revenge is premature balding
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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