I want to make a zoo with you.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Blood and glitter go together right?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize