She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize