Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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