I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
