you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
