she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
