ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
