I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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