The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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