I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize