Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
