Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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