thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
