is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
