I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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