Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
