i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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