Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
what day is it and did you see me today?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
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