no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
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