Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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