Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize