he shaved USA in his pubs
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
