sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
