Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
no you cant smoke seaweed
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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