Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
