More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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