they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
