Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
