Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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