come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
My balls are so social today.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
