It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
vagina is talking i cant
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
