dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
