she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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