6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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