i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Never joke about your clitoris.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
