Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
