508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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