I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
