i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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