Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
be right there i have to get my cape
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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