Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
