Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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