he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
