why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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