Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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