fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
