Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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