Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.

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(804): View more from Virginia

I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.

Fav 14 1303 4992
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.

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(904): View more from Florida

Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.

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(940): View more from Texas

he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend

Fav 11 1115 3742
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM

Fav 9 2208 871
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(406): View more from Montana

I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye

Fav 1 33 15
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(775): View more from Nevada

I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night

Fav 0 32 26
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