She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
