Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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