Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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