u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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