So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
